On the down side I was stuck in the snow for 30 min because the public transpot broke down, but who can be mad at the snow, when it doesn't hurt and looks so beautiful?This picture isn't mine.. I was on my way to work and I would have been so late if I had a camera with me today..
Now to my actual post.
I had a really bad nightmare last night. I hate when that happens the night before I have to get up really early (even earlier then usual because of the snow) to get to work. I woke up bathed in sweat again, what didn't happen for a while now and it was hard to let it go.
It was nothing really new, except that my grandmother was there for the first time. Never dreamed of her before. It was a dream about the feeling that whatever I do, I can't escape my family. In the dream I had the feeling that I had to go to the end of the world to escape them. Vienna wasn't far enough and my mother told me that she would follow me wherever I go. In the dream she even said that she would move to Vienna.. that really scared me. My grandmother didn't really do anything she just kind of sat there.
What happened in the dream wasn't really bad it was the emotions that felt so strong and real again.
I'm having a hard time right now. I cried again last night before falling asleep. I'm undecided about whether I should face Christmas or ignore it. I know that it would be healthier to face it. Harder and painful but in the end healthier.
On the other hand I have to study and write a paper during the vacations.. I'm not sure I can do both.
I have had people in my life (two of them) who've told me that they'd follow me to the end of the world and that I wouldn't be able to run/hide. I remember my horrendipitous fear when they actually followed me everywhere for REALLY long. Guess what?? It's been two years. They cannot reach me and the thought that they will ever again is plain hideous and ridiculously silly!!! But if they ever do, I've had enough time to recover. I'd make them run to save their lives now!!! Hahaha!!! :D :D :D
ReplyDeleteSweetie, the world is an oddly large place. If you can lose your friend in a little market, know that you're safe. TRUST ME. It IS a matter of time. Big hugs and plenty of love from me! :) :)