To My Brain

I always new that my brain was different. I'm not always conscious about that until something reminds me of it. Yesterday I got reminded again. I had another brain fog - moment and that picture of the desert automatically came to my mind. This time there was some dry scrub drifting by in the wind. I had that image before and I always wondered about the scrub. There is a specific name for that in German and in English - I think - and it just didin't come to my mind. Things like that drive me nuts. I just can't let it go until I remember that word. So I ended up drawing it on a piece of paper and asking a friend of mine that was sitting next to me in class if she knew what it was. She didn't but she asked me with a weird look on her face (yes already) where I got that from? We were in the middle of a class by then. So I told her about that moments when I just can't seem to grasp a thought. (She is someone that would definitely react weird if I told her why so I kept to 'in the mornings when I'm really tired'. She told me that happens to her too in the mornings. :)) And that I have that image in my head when that happens. Hm.. yeah now she thinks I'm crazy because apparently it is not normal to have entertaining interactive visualisations going on up there.

I know that it is definitely a coping method of my brain. Thinking about all the things that happen to me during the day, I would be miserably without my little entertainment programm. Some characteristics of my physical condition: tiredness, tipsiness, clumsiness, brain fog, short term memory impairment, did someone write down the license number of the truck that just ran me over?
What do people do that don't have a brain like that? Feel stupid all the time? What do they laugh about?

Another coping method of mine is sarcasm. A lot of sarcasm. The difference there is that the sarcasm actually changed during the years. At first it was kind of a poignant sarcasm, everything was bad and I didn't expect anything positive to happen, ever. It was also a method to not talk directly about my feelings. A way to avoid questions and to get out of uncomfortable situations. Now it became an automatic reaction to make myself laugh. To see the funny side of everything. It is still a coping method not to hide, but to face things.

I get into a little trouble when someone else is like that thought.. There is one class (in English) on Thursdays I have with a good friend of mine and she is just the same. So we sit in there and we behave like 10 year olds (me being 25 and her 32). We laugh for 90 minutes straight. It's a class with a professor that is all about working in groups so it's not too bad that we talk all the time. And we do speak Germanglish with each other so that's a plus :).

So all in all I do like my brain. There is still some repair work to do (you can imagine the picture I have in my mind right now :)) but I'm getting there in a very entertaining way.