It's my birthday today. I don't know how to deal with it becuase I never had a nice birthday. In my family it was a day when they were suddenly nice to me just because it was my birthday. That confused me and I felt very uncomfortable. When my sister was screaming at me or hitting me on that day my parents used to say: 'Stop it you have to be nice to her because it is her birthday today.' I didn't get it.
One of the worst things was that I got presents and I had to say thank you. I was always glad when it was over. I never celebrated my birthday because I wanted to (except once). So now I don't really now how to deal with it. It is just a normal day but at the same time I wish it weren't. But at the same time I still have that wrong feeling of not deserving it to be a special day.
The last years I was always alone on my birthday and it didn't really matter. I don't even know how I want it to be. Of course it makes me happy when somebody remembers and says happy birthday but I don't know if I would feel comfortable with more than that.
It will be a normal day today. It's a Wednesday anyway and I think I really want it to be just that.
Happy Birthday. You are deserving of a special day,...everyday. Know your worth. Look at yourself through God's eyes. See the love He has for you.
ReplyDeleteOuch. I'm late. Darn it!
ReplyDelete(Belated) HAPPPPPPPPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's a fantastic day when it's your birthday, silly! Write about all the fun things you and C did to celebrate next. I'm looking forward to it!
Hope it was a happy Birthday!!!!