Update

I'm feeling better, finally. And the good news is that I only missed one exam and not by accident. It was today and I had no chance to study for it, so I decided to not do it. That doesn mean that all the hours I attended this class were a waste of time. For all the other classes I attended I could say that I at least learned something but not for that one. Studying for it would have meant to memorize things I will never ever need again, because well there are such things like dictionaries. So now I only have three exams to go, and I will at least try all of them.
Work will be less stressful, I made the plan for February and I decided to work as less as I can, that's the positive part of the promotion.

Today I felt my heart being heavy again. That's logical after such a long break from recovery because of all this stress and the flu I had.
It drives me crazy to not be able to work on that. So two days ago I couldn't wait anymore and started to read one of the books about PTSD. I learned that my brain is overly active in some areas and that I don't just imagine it to be that way. It's the memories that couldn't be processed in a correct way and that are now 'haunting' me.  PTSD is nothing you can't overcome but the longer you were exposed to the 'threat' the harder it is and the longer it takes to be OK again.
I hope I can relax and get back to 'work' in the next weeks.

My room mate and her boyfriend are still annoying. He is eating and drinking everything that is in the fridge no matter if it is theirs or not. As if I had so much money.. That makes me mad at them, because their parents are paying everything for them. I'm the one who has to count while grocery shopping. Talking to him is like talking to a little spoiled child that turns around and forgets whatever he was told immediately. So I'll be keeping my stuff in my room. That makes it so much more uncomfortable then it already is.

Yes, I am also jealous of them. I would like to have somebody paying all my bills without me having to do anything. Just because I'm a child of someone. That would make my life a lot easier. But then I think, how dependant I would be and I don't think I would like that.. I mean, when do they grow up? My room mate is 23 and she doesn't pay her own rent! She never worked for anything.
So after all, I'm still glad I'm not her. I'm glad I can appreciate the fact that I have money for food and that there is electricity in my apt. I once lived without electricity or hot water for 7 months and I don't get people that switch on the lights at noon eventhough it's bright daylight.. and then I have to pay for it too. Oh yeah there are so many things that annoy me.. But as I will be moving to the other side of the pond I'm not planning on paying the next electricity and gas bill in February (it is only due twice a year). Shall daddy pay it..