A New Year

First of all I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The last days were alright. I did get myself informed about all my options a little more, had some moments of anxiety and but all in all I'm OK. I slept through to the new year, after all the stress I had the days before the only thing I wanted was to sleep and just be for myslef.
I haven't decided what to do yet and I haven't taken any step towards one of the options.

Today I had an appointment with D and then with P.
Both asked good questions that made me think about the options I already excluded out of the list of 4. D told me that it's logical that I feel overwhelmed by everything, especially because I'm working 20 hrs a week and when you count the hours I am at University plus the hours I spend studying and doing homework, I actually have a 70hrs week. And then to find time to actually have therapy and then find time to 'work' on and take care of myself is almost impossible. I get that but he put on that attitude as if HE already saw that coming anyway and I should have made more appointments so that he could have been able to see it and we could stop the crisis before it came.. blabla.. As if he could have been able to foresee that my roommate decides to stay in the apartment and kick me out.. Anyway I was only there to get the letter to the University saying I'm too sick to keep on studying, in case I decide to stop. So I let him talk.
I have another appointment there next week, I thought I make one before he decides to not write that letter.

After waiting an hour for that letter, I was just in time to go to my appointment with P. I told her the whole story starting with the apartment and ending with the options I thought of.
She also asked good questions - I already thought of myself and answered already - but it was good to be asked by another person and answer them loud and clear instead of only in my head.
When she asked me if I expect her to tell me what to do, I was blunt and told her that: "No offence but you're here to listen to me; I make the decisions." It was just good to talk about it all.

So now I am trying to relax before taking any steps towards a decision.
I just need some time first.