Dreams and More Packages

I slept in today that was great. I feel more relaxed and not overwhelmed anymore. I've got some pain today but that's just the weather changing. I had another nightmare this night, actually more nightmares of which I can only remember one.

I dreamed of my father again. And again it was a dream in which I was afraid of him touching me. I can't say it for sure but I think I didn't mean touching in general, I meant touching in a sexual way. I even threatened to chop his hand off if he would come too close to me.
I was always scared of him touching me but I always thought I just didn't want him to come too close to me. There is absolutely no evidence of him abusing me sexually. I have no memory of such a situation and I think he wouldn't have done that. Not that I think he is a good person but this is something I can't imagine him doing. Maybe it was because I witnessed sexual abuse once and maybe even got abused myself. I don't know. I still don't remember all of it. I just know I always had this fear of being touched inappropriately.
In those situations, for example after a dream like this I really wish I could remember.

To something else.. I checked my german account again and my parents (I guess it was them) put some money on it again. There was no reference stated but the city it was paid into my account. I know that normally my grandparents (when my grandmothere was still alive) gave my sister and me also money for Chrismas. My grandmother was the one who told my grandfather (he's really cheap eventhough he has more than enough money) to give us some money. The amount paid in is the same I always got from them, so I guess it's from him. It's little money but every little helps right? And no they didn't give it to me because they care, they gave it to me because that's what you do. Fine with me :D.