Knowledge is My Key

I just came from my doctors appointment and I'm fine. She did tell me to get checked every year because my sister did have a melanoma once and so it is more likely for me to get one too. But for now I'm just totally relieved. Puh!
The doctor was fine and I actually didn't feel uneasy at all. I guess I was more scared about that then about the possibility of having a melanoma..

Today I also got the last book from amazon. All three books are about PTSD, one is explaining what happens in your brain while and after a traumaic event and which therapies exist. As nobody actually tells me, that's a good one. That's one thing I don't like about my therapist or psychiatrist, they don't want to talk about how things work, even when I ask them. But that's exactly what I need to understand. Some people are fine with just talking in therapy. I need to know what are the symptoms, where does it happen in your brain and what exactly happens. I made the first big steps foreward after knowing that Neuroplasticity exists. That was a huge lightbulb moment for me. All this talk about how it will take time and that I will get better.. blabla didn't really help me. I needed the scientifical proof that the brain can change. Not I have to change, I have to change the way my brain works. I'm so eager to read that book, I can hardly stop myself from doing it but I have to concentrate in finishing this semester. And then..

The second book is about treatment alternatives and self-management techniques. I had a quick look into it and it has tables in it that helps you to live healthier and so on. It makes sense that nutrition and taking good care of yourself is a very important factor.

The third one is a workbook for PE (Prolonged Exposure Therapy). I have no idea if I will chose to do that kind of therapy because I have no idea if it is the right one for me but it sounded interesting. However I won't read that one before being sure it is the right thing for me and talking to a therapist. It's best to do that with a therapist anyway.. but I'm just so curious :) which is a very good thing. It shows me how ready and willing I am to make my recovery my first priority. It already is my first priority in my mind but as I still have my exams coming up and a lot of work until February.. it is still a theoretical one.