What a day...

In the morning it still looked like a totally normal day. I'm off today so I slept in, had breakfast and so on.

Then I suddenly felt angry. I felt the anger mount up inside of me and I just wanted to punch something and scream. Instead of sitting there with that feeling, I acted. I put on loud music and started screaming. I wished I had a punchbag, that 'hitting the pillow' thing really doesn't work.
After most of my anger was out, I started painting. I will post a picture later, when the paint is dry.

I felt relieved to be able to get all the anger out. For the first time I actively decided to let it out instead of swallowing it or sitting with it until it turnes into a depression or goes away.
But it is exhausting.. what I discovered a little later when I decided to run some errands.

I went to the doctors office to get a new perscription, because I was running out of Cipralex. There were a lot of people there, so I was standing in line waiting for my turn for a while. Then I felt like puking all of a sudden and got dizzy. I sat down but it didn't help. Then all got blury and I could only see flickering. I managed to tell the receptionist that I had to lie down because I felt really dizzy. She had to help me to the lab to lie down. My blood pressure was almost immeasurably low. I don't know where that came from. I feel better now, just having a little head ache.

Additionally to all that I have stress at work, I had to take care of at my day off. I hate stupid customers..

Anyway now I'm at home, I'm done with 'work' and am officially allowed to eat as much chocolate as I can find and to be plain lazy :)