New Semester

I haven't been blogging as much lately because school started again this week. I'm so glad it did as busy as it might make me. So the last days I spent in university begging to be admitted to classes. Yes, our system sucks. There is no guarantee that you can do all the classes you want to. The registration system choses randomly who will be admitted to which class. I was lucky and got 6 out of the 8 I registered for although I ended up being on the waiting list for 3 of them. All in all I will be doing 15 classes. I don't have to attend all of them (except the 6 I had to register for) and it would be impossible anyway because I also have to work two days a week, but I will do the exams at the end. It is a lot of work, and it doesn't leave a lot of time for therapy and self-reflection. But I'm trying to go at least once a week, so I will be back in therapy next thursday after a month absence.

It is a great feeling that I don't need to see my therapist in order to be OK but I am aware of the fact that I still need therapy in order to heal. Well I'm not really looking foreward to the Rohrschachtest P wants to do with me(what if I just see black spots on white paper? :)) but  that might be postponed anyway because of all the things I want to talk about. It will be hard to bring up the memory of witnessing sexual abuse but I still kind of can't wait to talk with someone about it (is that weird?).
I just felt again how confusing it is not to remember.. right now I didn't know whether to write only 'sexual abuse' or 'witnessing sexual abuse'. I wish I would know.

My sleep was alright lately, no major night mares and no difficulties to fall asleep.. just to get up again :). I decided to cancel my gym because I won't have time to go, it's just too expensive to pay without going at least once a week. I'm really sad about that but it's the best decision.