So I slept a little, and when the pain got better I went outside to read by the river.. But all this time I couldn't stop thinking. I felt the depression wanting to overwhelm me. And I just couldn't get this heavy feeling away today. I had to fight really hard to hold depression at a low level, not even the book or the nice sunny day could cheer me up. Today was one of those days when I don't like myself, thinking I am not worth anything and no matter how often I told myself that that's not true and made a list of all the positive things about me in my head, I couldn't stop these thoughts spooking around in my head.
Probably I should see the positive side of it.. I went outside and didn't stay at home crying. I took as good care of myself as I could, not letting me fall too deep into depression.
Now that the day is almost over it's easy to say that..
I felt how these thoughts were going on my nerves and I just wanted to scream or push them out of my head. The fact that I couldn't made me even more mad.
I'll keep on fighting.. I know it's hard, but it will be worth it.. and I can do it!
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