Scared

I´m still waiting for my passport to be ready for me to pick it up. I found a bank that would give me a credit, but I will have to be in Vienna to apply for it. They need the proof that I am inscribed at the university and they need proof of how much deposit I need to pay for a new apartment.. and so on. Meaning I need to search an apartment before even applying for the credit. Which takes time..

This means that I would be going to Vienna without any money, and that I would be there for about a month or two without a cent in my pocket.
Where will I live? What will I eat? That´s really scary..

Plus taking a credit is the last thing I want to do. It freaks me out because I already have depts. But it´s the only option I have.

C and I are OK right now. But I still want to go back to Vienna. I know it won´t be like that for long. And I am just really tired of his lying.
He doesn´t tell big lies - as far as I know, maybe except for his visa status.. - but he lies all the time. While searching a new place to live, he was lying all the time. He said that he only lived here for 3 years.. but he´s here since at least 6.. I don´t even know how long, because he kept on telling me different things. Maybe he forgot, who knows. I just remembered that I don´t really know how old he is either.. I remember him telling me 32, which now would be 33. But when I asked him again he didn´t want to say it. God he might be 45.. Plus when the real estate agents asked him where I come from he said the US. I don´t get that lie.. What´s bad about me coming from Germany?
So when we got asked again, I didn´t know what to say.. I turned my head towards him, trying to figure out if it is OK that I tell them I´m German.. Now, tell me this isn´t weird.
But for all these little things.. I don´t care as much.

It´s that I know there are also big ones there.. and they will always be there. Whatever happens, he won´t just tell me.
The bottom line is: I don´t feel safe.

That we are OK right now just makes it harder for me to tell him. But it won´t stop me from leaving.

I might have to wait until January to not pay an additional study fee, as the semester already starts in October and I don´t have my passport yet. Or I could leave as soon as I have the passport which would be in about 1 or 2 weeks.
That seems to fast. Or I´m just scared..