Permits

I love it when the students of my second class on Saturday don't show up! There are just classes I really don't like to teach. And that is one of them. Not only because I have another 4 hour class before that, but because the students are both sloow learners and are not really interested in learning anyway. So teaching them something is a bit frustrating because I know they wwill forget it until the next class anyway.

So I have time to write :).
I went to the immigration office on Thursday, not before my therapy as I planned it to do, but afterwards. I just couldn't get up that early. And as I just went there to get information how to apply for the working visa, I didn't plan to stay there long anyway.

The lady at the reception then gave me a list of things I would need and also explained it to me. It will take about 2 weeks until I know if I get it or not. Why 2 weeks.. I'm not sure anymore because I kind of forgot what is next now. But that's not too bad, because I have to go there on Monday anyway.

So after getting the information I went to an internet cafe to print the form out and to write two letters in which I had to explain why I wanted the visa and compromise myself to report to the tax office that I am now living and working here, once I have the visa.
I walked throught the city center, actually for the first time since I am here. It was nice to do that. Really hot, but nice.

That lady also told me that they need some proof that I have enough money to live here in Mexico. So I had to print out bank statements from my german account, as I don't have one here yet. There is not a lot of money on it, it is more like my money for emergencies. It would be enough to get me to Germany or wherever I want to go and then there would be a little more left. Plus I have my credit card. I hope it is enough for them. They asked me to print out the last 3 movements from the account. And well the last movement was a month ago, the fee that I pay for having that account and 2 transfers from my parents (ja they still keep sending me money for easter, christmas and so on..). That are the only movements there were for the last 3 months, so I hope that they see that I am not really using that money. And they might think that my parents are supporting me monthly :). What they don't do but they transfered money for easter. Once from them selves in April and then once again in May, because my grandfather gave them money for me (also because of the easter holidays). And now it's June.. so as they don't speak german and are able to read the additional information where the reason for the transfer is written...

I had to translate that bannk statements, but I just wrote that these were transfers from my parents. Well I just hope it's enough..

I also had to have pictures taken.. how I hate that! On pictures for ID's I always look really bad. And even worse that they want pictures from my profile as well.. I hate my profile! And I felt a bit like a criminal as they told me to turn to the right to take the picture :D.

Anyway, now I do have everything they asked for and I have to pay the first fee on Monday and then give them all the documents. It's actually a lot less expensive when you do it yourself and not let an agent do it for you.

Plus it makes me feel better as I feel more independent and not dependent on C to get me my visa. I just like to do these things myself. Then they get done.

Therapy was OK. I do have to pay the session I skipped though because well I didn't cancel it. :(
I talked about the big Mother Ship that got hit a week ago. And she told me that I have to observe the things that trigger that closely... I knew that before.. And that it my panic because of the visa and all the accusations from the past have to do with permits. Not being 'wrong', 'illegal' and so on somewhere or about something. Makes some sense..

In the night I was thinking about boundaries. I spoke to Paula about it. Well actually she told me about an exercise she did in her trauma therapy. It's basically about deciding when to say STOP! to somebody or something. So I was lying in bed and thought about when I would say stop in the situations I was in with my parents. How close would I let them get to me. And well I wouldn't let them enter the room I am in. When they talk to me I would say stop the second there is a hint of blaming me for something I didn't do. With my sister it would be different. I let her enter the room, but I wouldn't do everything she tells me to anymore. And the second that she starts talking to me as if I was less than her then the stop would come.

I played this through in my mind and the only person I wouldn't say stop to was my grandmother. But well she died over a year ago. I couldn't remember any sitation I would have had to say stop to her.

With C there are situations that I would and from now on will say stop to him. Or at least to myself. Stopping me from letting him make me feel bad about something.. and so on. I don't expect it to work right away... but I think it is a really good thing to practice..