Back to Normal

I wasn't writing about my nightmares lately. There is a simple reason for that. I knew where they came from and why I had them, so I don't bother writing them down..
Two nights ago my dreams 'normalized', meaning that my dreams are now less or not at all influenced by the fact that I moved to the other side of the pond.

Two nights ago I dreamed about my whole family. We were supposed to meet up and go to a restaurant together. I was just coming from work and they were driving in two different cars to pick me up. My sister in one car and my parents in the one behind her. When they arrived where I was waiting, they both stopped and started fighting right away. I don't really remember what that was about but I think it was about my sister being angry about their driving. Anyway so I asked them to please try and not scream as much but as usual they didn't even bother to hear me. So I got mad and screamed at them they should be quiet because I had a really hard and long day. My father then screamed back at me that he had a day like that too. I was feeling this typical panic and anger during the dream. Just as always, I was in a situation I could not change, whatever I did.

Waking up I was left thinking why instead of relaxing they are 'coming home' creating such an environment. An environment where relaxing is absolutely impossible. Why do they have to talk to each other like that? It creates a huge amount of stress. Well at least for me it did. Maybe they enjoyed it? But how can you possibly enjoy that?
I always thought that there must be a heartattack waiting just around the corner..

So my nightmares are back to 'normal'. It's almost never the dream as such that is bad, it's the emotions that are too real that drain me. I still need a lot of sleep and I never feel really awake. The CFS is getting worse because the weather was changing a little during the last days. That also means I am in more pain. All these things together make me want to sleep all the time..
I'm glad I don't teach any classes in the mornings yet.