Last night's dream..

Last night I dreamed about my sister. I didn't recognize the place we were at. I remember not being able to move my hand and fingers and I knew in the dream that it was my sisters fault. My mother was there too, and when my sister left I took the chance and came out of my room to go to the bathroom. My mother stood outside of the bathroom and was looking out if my sister would come back. When she told me my sister is coming back, I left the bathroom and told my mother that I wanted her to protect me from my sister because she had never done that, so I wanted her to do it now. (I was older in the dream, probably around 14 yrs old). My mother told me she had protected me before, but I just looked at her in disbelieve.
Then there was a change in the dream, like switching to another scene. I was in my room lying in bed and my sister came in. I felt that she was mad and told her that between us there is just violence and from now on I'm going to defend myself, and I really meant that.

After I woke up in the morning I thought about what my mother said to me in the dream and I remembered that she actually did defend us (my sister and me). She often said to us: 'Your father doesn't need to know that', or: 'Let`s better not tell your father about that, or there will be trouble'.
So she did protect us/me from some trouble with my father, not in the moment that there was trouble, but preventively.
I never really saw it like that. I focused on the fact that we DID have to keep something from him to not get in trouble. Like that my mother showed me that I HAD a reason to be scared of my father.

I'm glad about having my dreams.. it's like "working" on my problems over night. I don't know if I would have the strength for that during the day and I admire everybody who can do that.


I wish you all a nice weekend!