Anger issues..

I got a new therapist yesterday, the other one moved to another city a month ago. So I was back in therapy after an almost 2 months break.
It was kind of weird being back there, talking about my feelings and what happened in the last 2 months. Because despite the relapse last week, I feel that I'm doing OK. So the feeling I had during the session was different, I don't really know how to call that feeling.. disturbed? I didn't really want to be there. Or didn't really see the sense of being there. I don't think it is the new therapist, she is just like the other one.
At the beginning of my therapy I really liked going even though it was exhausting and hard work. Now I don't even know what to talk about anymore, except about the dreams I'm having.
Therapy does give me another perspective and I can see my behaviour from another angle.. oh well there we go.. I just found myself a reason to go to therapy..:)

I told my therapist about a dream I was having 2 nights ago.
I was in the living room at my parents house and I was confronting my mother, asking her why she didn't see what they were doing to me. Didn't she see that I was suffering? That all this violence between my parents, my parents and my sister, and the one towards me (from all of them) is making me want to kill myself? She even caught me wanting to kill myself a few times and the only reaction was that she told me I'm stupid and that they did nothing wrong, and that it's just me being crazy. So I confronted her about all this, and there was no reaction, as always. In that moment my father entered the room, I turned in his direction and confronted him. Until then I never confronted him in my dreams. The dreams I had about him were always full of fear and most of the times I was running away from him, telling him not to touch me. So it was the first dream I was actually actively confronting him in, telling him that I never had a real father-daughter relationship with him, because the only thing I felt was fear. Suddenly he looked embarrased to the floor and said:'I'm sorry'. In the dream I suddenly had the feeling that I actually forgave him and (the weirdest thing) I wanted to give him a hug. Before that happened I woke up, I guess that 'wanting-to-give-him-a-hug-feeling' was a little too much for me, and I stopped myself before hugging him.
As I woke up I first wondered where that dream suddenly came from but I had a good feeling about it. That was a nice dream, and a great feeling to let go and forgive.

My therapist said that that is a bit to fast for her and that before I forgive I have to be angry. ??.. Do I? She told me that anger and depression are opposites and she asked me what I usually feel when I think about my parents and the past. I told her that most of the times I am rather sad about what I didn't have than being angry at my family for what they did. She said that this was a typical depressive behaviour and that I direct the anger towards myself...
She's got a point there, but I don't think she's right about the fact that I need to be angry before I can forgive.

My reactions are very similar when I am angry and when I am sad. I also start crying when I'm angry. I always thought that this was just the way I expressed anger but now I understand that I only cried when I was angry with people close to me, people I depended on, or I thought I depended on. I think it is the fear of losing them when I show my anger in another way. As I remember I always swollowed my anger. The only reaction to the situation with my family was crying myself to sleep every night. That is how I normally reacted to it, so I guess there is a pattern there. And I'm going to try to change it, now that I know.
But, I don't see how I can express my anger towards my family about what happened years ago. Except the way I did until now. With grief. I haven't had contact to my family for almost a year now, doesn't that show my anger anyway?

I left therapy with this new knowledge and confusion. I felt like I was doing it wrong, not being angry.

Please tell me what you think about that..