A provoked Nightmare and lovely Mexico

I was wanting to write for a while now, but I was just too busy..

I'm not sure about that but I will just lable this post as *possibly triggering*.

A few days ago one of my students was wearing a T-shirt that disturbed me. It even provoked nightmares. I was thinking about searching it on the internet (because I'm sure I would find it) and post a picture of it here but I really don't want to trigger anything and I don't want to have something like that on my blog.

That guy is about 20 years old. In class he is shy and I can hardly make him talk loud enough to hear if his German pronounciation is correct. He is always wearing T-shirts with weird images on them, mostly religious once. He is very religious, at least he told me that. The T-shirts he was normally wearing until that day were displaying the reaper and weird images of Jesus bleeding, on the cross and so on. I'm fine with that.

But this time there was a picture of two naked women on his shirt. Again, fine with me. But well one of the women was standing and the other sitting in front of her, looking shocked. The reason for this was that the women standing behind her was bleeding on her (a lot of blood) out of her vagina.

I had a hard time stopping to look at it. I would have loved to tell him to leave, but well he can wear whatever he want's right? So I tryed to ignore it the rest of the class.

Anyway I couldn't get that picture out of my head, it was just too disturbing for me. I haven't told C about it because I know he would just say - in an attempt to help me of course - "It's just a T-shirt". And as that won't help me I just don't tell him about it.
I know it's just a shirt and that guy has no idea what it can trigger, so he was wearing that just to be cool, to shock or whatever they want to acomplish at that age (I know 20 is a bit old for that but he does behave like 16 anyway).

For me it is more than that, and whatever people say, it won't make it less disturbing.

As far as my medication is concerned I am still taking 5mg. At the beginning I was planning to have reduced it by now, but with all I learned and heared - also from you - I will wait another week and then see if I am up to it.

I was planning to reduce faster because I only had a few pills left, that I brought from Austria. To get the pills here it seemed just too expensive. I would have had to make an appointment with the psychiatrist again. For 500 pesos, which is around 40 Euros. She wouldn't have attended me, as I would just have passed for the prescription. What means she would have made - and I would have spent - 40 Euros in 2 minutes, while she was writing my prescription. Then the pills cost around 700 pesos, what is 60 Euros (that's not counted well but it's more or less like that). So I would have spent 100 Euros for pills I am not even all going to take. I know money shouldn't be a criteria here but as I don't have any.. it really is.

In the end I didn't go to the psychiatrist. C has a friend that runs a farmacy and he just gave it to us like that, without prescription, and with a discount. Sometimes you just have to love Mexico.... :)