Rediscovering Self-Parenting

Yesterday I stayed at home and took care of my clothes that were all over the place and still in my bags. I cleaned the drawers, washed some clothes and unpacked. I only needed two drawers for my clothes and one for other stuff... I guess I don't have a lot of stuff..

Anyway after that I also cleaned the house a bit to feel more comfortable and then I tried to relax a bit. It took many hours to do all this and I'm glad it is done now. It feels more like as if I am living here now. Teddy has his new spot on a sofa and he's happy to be out of the bag. (Yes, I left him in the bag for almost two weeks.. report me if you have to..)

Later in the night I got depressed again and had a lot of A.N.T's. I had these kind of thoughts before in simílar situations but I never tried to get to the root of them because I didn't have the tools. This time however, I got them. It was as if I took the pain in my hand and followed it's rope to the source. As soon as I got to the source the current situation that was the trigger stopt hurting. I cut the wrong connected feelings to the current situation and felt the original pain that had hurt me more than a decade ago. I did some self-parenting and I felt proud and better afterwards.

In the night I only had one nightmare. I don't know if it was the fact that I finally arrived (unpacked) or the self-parenting. Today I actually feel as if I slept! :)
So I'm hanging in there reminding myself of self-parenting and it's good effects. Trying to give myself time to adjust for as long as it might take.